Diversity & Death:
Identity Affirming Deathcare Planning
Tee is the author of the Identity Affirming Deathcare Directives, a free workbook and resource site for LGBTQIA+, RSSI, and AHoSI individuals to reflect on how their identity will inform their deathcare decisions and impact their deathcare experience.
Every identity deserves to be authentically honored as we approach the end of life and after our death. At such a challenging time, we all deserve identity-affirming professionals to care for us and our families. In this article, you’ll find resources for Identity Affirming Directives, grief support, and more.
Planning Matters
Grief for loved ones and anxieties about our own mortality are deeply human experiences. Though each of us processes these challenges uniquely, we share the collective need for clarity and support during end-of-life moments.
Planning ahead can alleviate some of the emotional, logistical, and financial burdens on those we leave behind. Professionals such as estate planning attorneys, financial planners, and funeral or cemetery advisors can help ensure that, when the time comes, everything falls into place.
For the LGBTQ+, religious minority, and secular identity communities, planning takes on additional significance due to unique concerns:
- Ensuring identity expression will be honored at end-of-life and memorial services
- Finding affirming professionals for planning and final arrangements
- Supporting loved ones who may face rejection or isolation in their grief
Honoring Personal Identity
How do we ensure that our wishes regarding personal identity are respected? Whether it’s the use of specific pronouns, secular-only language, particular rituals, or designating someone other than legal next-of-kin to handle arrangements, planning ahead is essential.
1. Identity Affirming Deathcare Directives
Thinking about deathcare for ourselves can be daunting—but it’s a vital step toward peace of mind. Without clear directives, identity-related wishes may be overlooked, leaving loved ones grappling with guilt or conflict.
The Identity Affirming Deathcare Directives© workbook was designed to address these concerns. This free resource helps individuals explore their end-of-life wishes and document identity-specific directives. It’s an invaluable tool for LGBTQ+ individuals and those with diverse Religious, Secular, and Spiritual Identities (RSSI).
Download the workbook: IADDresource.org
This workbook was created collaboratively by Matthew Rosenthal, Esq., an estate planning attorney, and Tee Rogers, a Humanist Celebrant and funeral planning professional.
FREE Identity Affirming Deathcare Planning Workshops
Schedule free workshops & discussions to explore identity-related challenges during end-of-life services and ways that planning can ease frustration and pain for loved ones.
These workshops are available to groups, organizations, and businesses upon request.
Together, we create a safe space to discuss topics such as:
- Ensuring identity-affirming care in near-death moments
- Navigating family dynamics to honor diverse wishes
- Leveraging planning tools to reduce stress for loved ones
- Your rights and responsibilities
To schedule a workshop, contact 407-608-9242.
2. LGBTQ+ and Secular Grief Resources
Grief support should be a safe space for all. Unfortunately, LGBTQ+ individuals and those with secular or religious minority identities may face rejection or a lack of understanding when seeking help.
As a deathcare professional, i’ve seen how vital affirming resources can be in providing comfort during loss. No one should feel alone or unsupported in their grief.
Resources for Grief Support: https://iaddresource.org/grief-resources/
3. Identity Affirming Final Arrangements
Identity-affirming professionals can help ensure that your end-of-life wishes are respected, preventing unnecessary conflict or distress for your loved ones. The IADD Workbook can guide you in some techniques for vetting professionals to find a person and/or company that is affirming to your identity.
Follow-Up and Further Information
For questions about:
- Funeral & cemetery pre-planning or celebrant services, contact Tee Rogers at tee.rogers@outlook.com or 407-608-9242.
- Estate planning and legal guidance, contact Matthew Rosenthal, Esq. at mrosenthal@rosenthalmeyer.com or 407-504-9725 or visit rosenthalmeyer.com.
Planning for the inevitable can be challenging, but it’s an essential step in ensuring your identity and wishes are respected. Let’s work together to create a legacy of care, compassion, and authenticity.
