Wedding Building Blocks
A ceremony can be as unique as the couple it celebrates. While some officiants (like notaries) or celebrants (Humanist or religious clergy) provide pre-written ceremonies without much input from the couple, you have a choice! Your ceremony can reflect your values, character, and love story.
Here are some suggestions for personalizing your ceremony and vows.
How much work is it to personalize a ceremony?
It can be as simple or detailed as you like!
- Answer a few questions for your celebrant.
- Select from sample elements that resonate with you.
- Include your own vows or statements of love.
Or, opt for a fully personalized ceremony written by you or crafted by a professional.
Ask your celebrant or officiant if you can review the ceremony and discuss customization options.
What’s legally required for a wedding ceremony?
Make sure you know the laws in your state and what is required. At a minimum, you must:
- Declare that you are willingly entering into the legal arrangement of marriage.
- Have this declaration witnessed by a qualified official who signs your marriage license.
These requirements can be fulfilled during or immediately after the ceremony. Everything else—the order, rituals, and language—is entirely up to you.
Religious, cultural, or family traditions may add elements that you want to honor, but they’re not legally mandated.
The first step: A conversation.
Talk with your partner about what you want your ceremony to feel like.
- Symbolism or words? Do the actions matter more than the language?
- Tone: Do you prefer a serious and meaningful ceremony, a humorous one, or a blend of both?
- Tradition or unique? Do you want something traditional or something no one has seen before?
Rate these elements in order of importance. This will help you and your celebrant craft a ceremony that reflects your shared vision.
How long should the ceremony be?
This depends on your preferences and circumstances. A ceremony can last just a few minutes or up to an hour. Consider:
- Your guests (e.g., elderly attendees or those standing outdoors).
- Venue timing (e.g., aligning your kiss with sunrise or sunset).
Who writes the ceremony?
You have options:
- Write it yourself.
- Provide input to your celebrant, who can organize it for you.
- Hire a professional writer or celebrant to create it from scratch.
- Ask a trusted friend or family member to collaborate with your celebrant.
Orlando Celebrant offers original Humanist Ceremony templates you can use and edit them to reflect your style.
Can the ceremony be non-religious?
Absolutely! Many couples choose secular ceremonies to honor their own beliefs or to create a meaningful and inclusive experience for diverse guests.
Orlando Celebrant specializes in ceremonies that are inspiring, compassionate, and personalized to each couple's love story.
While a Humanist Celebrant will not use religious language, they can incorporate guest-led religious elements such as readings, blessings, or songs.
Inclusive language and gender-neutral ceremonies
Traditional wedding language often assumes binary gender roles. Modern ceremonies can break from this mold to be more inclusive:
- Names: Alternate the order of names as they appear throughout the ceremony, or use alphabetical order instead of gendered conventions.
- Pronouns: Write the ceremony to exclude pronouns or use the pronouns of each spouse (e.g., “Peyton, take Ayden’s hand and place the ring on zir finger…”).
Ceremony building blocks
Beyond the legal requirements (declaration of intent and signing of the Marriage License), your ceremony can include any combination of these elements:
- Processional (e.g., entrance of parents, grandparents, wedding party, etc.)
- Welcome
- Recognition of special guests or those unable to attend
- Invocation(s)
- Your Love Story
- Audience Inclusion Rituals (ring warming, etc.)
- Readings
- Personal Vows of Commitment (personal or traditional)
- Declaration of Intent (required)
- Exchange of rings or other tokens (With standard or personalized Ring Vows)
- Unity rituals
- Guest readings, speakers, or performances
- Closing remarks
- Pronouncement
- Recessional
Your celebrant can help ensure the ceremony flows beautifully.
Personal vows or statements of love
Your vows or statements can range from the most basic declarations (e.g., “Do you take ___ to be your lawfully wedded spouse?”) to deeply personal expressions.
What’s the difference?
- Vows: Promises or pledges you make to your spouse.
- Statements of Love: Reflections on why you love them and what you want for your future together.
Either can be recited, read, or prompted during the ceremony.
Tips for writing vows or statements of love
- Reflect on your journey together: How did you meet? What are your favorite memories?
- Ask yourself why you chose this person out of billions.
- List words or phrases that describe your hopes for marriage.
- Think about successful marriages you admire—what values do they embody?
- Write down what you love most about your fiancé.
- Research vow examples for inspiration.
Make sure your vows are meaningful, realistic, and timeless. Share drafts with a trusted friend or family member to ensure they are balanced in length and tone.
Your keepsake ceremony
Your ceremony is a memory you’ll treasure forever. If your celebrant provides a keepsake copy, you can revisit it on anniversaries or use it to renew your vows.
How do you want to remember this day?